I didn’t always love and accept my body. I used to spend large amounts of time in front of the mirror metaphorically ripping my body to shreds. This was a daily ritual for years as my body fluctuated from large to small and back again.
Failing to Measure-Up and Self-Medicating
It really never mattered what size my waist and thighs were….the bottom line was that I believed I just didn’t measure up.
I didn’t measure up to what society deemed beautiful.
I didn’t measure up to what I believed my body should look like.
I couldn’t fathom accepting what I saw in the mirror.
I was desperate for love and acceptance.
I knew exactly where I could numb the pain of loneliness.
The fastest way to numb the pain was to eat sweet and salty foods in large quantities.
Sugary and fried foods were my drug of choice, a way to escape the pain.
It was safer to overeat than to ask for the love and the help that I so desperately desired.
I had given up on living a life filled with happiness, love and lots of dancing.
I believed it could only happen if I finally “got it together” and lost weight.
I knew that I was letting my body shame hold me back.
I was playing small and betraying myself.
My “Wakeup Call”
A few days before my 21st birthday my big brother, Christopher, passed away. It was sudden, unexpected and it totally brought me to my knees.
This was a breakdown that brought my whole world to a screeching STOP.
My brother Christopher was only 30 years old and I just couldn’t believe his life was over. My brother and I shared a special bond and we struggled in many of the same ways. He had a big heart for other people but struggled with loving and accepting himself.
I was sad for a long time after Christopher died but it made me appreciate my life more.
I began learning how to love myself, and accept my body.
I knew that my brother would have wanted me to be confident and own my greatness.
I began to want these things for myself, and I began to build them up without the limiting belief I had used as a “requirement” for achieving those things.
I learned that my purpose required me to stop playing small and start taking action.
It started with going dancing with friends, wearing clothes that made me feel beautiful, taking time to care for my mind, body and soul.
My passion for life and living in my power eventually evolved into teaching women how to integrate self-care and body-loving rituals into daily life.
Learning how to leave the body-shame and the self-hatred behind is not about repeating a self-love mantra over and over again.
It’s about replacing the negative thought patterns with positive ones and taking inspired actions which affirm the truth about who you are:
You are an amazing, beautiful, unique woman who is worthy of BIG LOVE. You are going to be with your body, mind and soul until the day that you die. It’s time that you start pouring love and caring into your relationship with yourself. One of my mentors, Lisa Nichols teaches about why this is such a necessary love to begin building.
“I am the first example of how the world is supposed
to love me. And I have to give them the best example.”
- Lisa Nichols, Motivational Speaker and Breakthrough Specialist
You only get one life, one body, and one chance to use each breath you’re given to bring your special gifts to the world. It’s time for you to start stepping up and allowing others to celebrate your greatness with you.
There’s only one you.
You are worthy, right now.
You’re have all the right ingredients to build your ideal life, right now.
You are capable of having BIG LOVE for your body, right now.
I’d like to challenge you to make a commitment to be honest with yourself about the kind of relationship you’ve been building with your body and taking the actions necessary to build a loving relationship with your body, start living in the now and playing BIG.